


Aftermath

by citra_talugmai



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dark, Eating Disorder, F/M, Force Bond, Reylo - Freeform, Self Harm, force dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 11:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6372829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citra_talugmai/pseuds/citra_talugmai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren is searching the galaxy for Rey to sever the Force Bond while he constantly shares dreams with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Because of a comment on one of my other works, if you're an anti don't read this and don't comment. You won't like it and I don't care how 'abusive' you think Reylo is.

Kylo Ren’s eyes snapped open, there was no sleep to shake off. His mind was on only one thing.  
Rey.  
Since the moment he had met her on Takadona, the Scavenger had consumed him. Tormented him with every waking moment, followed him in every dream. He wanted her and he didn’t know why. The feeling was bestial, primal, and yet, it was something more. He felt inexplicably drawn to her and nothing could take away his need to possess her, to satisfy this innate desire.  
And Kylo Ren hated every second of it.  
He had tried everything to erase the feeling, becoming more self-destructive with each attempt. At first, he’d pound his still healing wound on his side. At first, he felt the girl double over in pain before she realised what was happening and feelings of sympathy washed over him. It had made him furious, the Scavenger had felt fucking pity for him! He stopped when a doctor had actually dared to get angry at him for it. Kylo had wanted to murder him. He came close to doing it as well, he left the medbay with the doctor gasping for breath on the floor. Next, he’d tried starving himself. He had hoped that he’d be too weak to maintain a connection to the girl, but it only seemed to make it stronger. It was as if he subconsciously drew on her strength through the Force. And the girl was powerful.  
In their shared dreams she often approached him. She’d been cautious at first, still terrified after their battle on Starkiller Base. But the longer she trained with Luke Skywalker the more her confidence grew. With a typical Jedi attitude full of self-righteousness and indignation she tried to reason with him. He needed to let go of his anger and hate, she said, if he remained calm they could work this out together. Kylo replied that it was bullshit and the faster she realised that, the better off she’d be. He’d been right about Han Solo, he pointed out, and he was also right about Luke Skywalker. And so their arguments continued night after night, Rey calm and collected, Kylo on the edge of exploding.  
Eventually he could take it no more, he was being pushed to the edge of his sanity. Whatever this connection he had with her, it had to be severed. Kylo needed it to be gone. He went to the Supreme Leader, and begged to be sent out after her. She was strong, he had argued, and therefore a threat. They should find and kill her before she became too powerful. Hux had even agreed with Kylo, though not because the General actually believed his argument, but because it meant that Kylo was out of his hair. To Kylo’s surprise, Snoke had allowed it. The girl was to be brought back alive, if possible, but if her death could not be helped then so be it.

“You want to kill me.”  
Kylo turned to Rey. This dream took place in the snowy forests of Starkiller. The air was still and not a sound beyond their breathing could be heard. It felt unnatural.  
No, that wasn’t right. “I want to break whatever connection I share with you.”  
Rey looked almost offended at the statement. Did she not want the same thing? That couldn’t be right, he knew that he’d caused her great physical pain. Every time he hurt himself, she hurt too.  
“You know, I hated you. I hated you more than anyone else I’d ever met, even Unkar Plutt.”  
Kylo had no idea who that was, but with a quick glance into her mind he discovered Unkar Plutt was a Junkboss from Jakku. Kylo shared Rey’s disgust for the creature.  
“But I couldn’t stop thinking about when I,” she paused, “When I entered your mind.  
She stopped talking, tears welled in her eyes and Kylo looked away. His shoulder ached and he felt the need to pound his side again.  
“I asked Master Luke about you. I know there were a thousand times when we fought on Starkiller and you could have killed me, but you didn’t. I had to know why,” she continued, “And, I don’t know, but I guess it all made sense. You’re still a monster… but I get it. I look at you and I see me, a reflection of what I could have been if circumstances were different. You said that I was lonely, so afraid to leave, and at night that I was desperate to sleep. And that’s you.”  
He hated these dreams, they were too real. He could feel the frost in the air, the chill that bit deep into the bone. But most of all he could feel Rey, she was so real, she felt more real than he did and he still wasn’t facing her, he couldn’t, not while tears stained his cheeks. She was right, he knew that, but he couldn’t admit it, not even to her. Especially to her.  
He didn’t say anything. The urge to pound his side, or rake his skin, or simply to do something, was growing. He wanted to hurt, he deserved it. And fuck, it was better feeling physical pain than emotional. He raised his fist to bring it crashing down on his side only for a hand to stop it.  
He hadn’t even heard Rey move, but she held his fist in an iron grip.  
“Don’t,” she pleaded.  
He looked at her, “You don’t understand.”  
He ripped his hand free of her grip and brought it crashing to his side. Rey doubled over and glared at him.  
“Fuck you,” she hissed.  
Kylo watched her intently, her anger flaring just as it had on Starkiller.  
“You hate yourself and you like the pain because you believe you deserve it. I wanted to sever this connection too, you know, but the more I learnt and the more I understood, I realised that you were fucking right. We’re similar and I thought ‘finally someone who understands’. Leia and Luke want me to use this connection to turn you, but I can’t. Every adult in your life that was supposed to protect you failed, and you can’t go back to that no matter how much you want to. I held on for so long that my parents would come back for me, but they failed me too. They left me on a planet where every day was survival of the fittest, where I was often weak from starvation. So don’t you dare act like I’m just some scavenger in the wrong place at the wrong time. Fuck you Kylo Ren.”  
For all the fire behind her words, Rey just looked upset, but most of all she just looked tired. It was something that resonated deep within Kylo, he just felt so fucking tired all the time and he wanted it to end, if only to be free of this pain.  
“I’m sorry, Rey,” he murmured.  
Before he had time to think about what he was doing he embraced her in a tight hug, Rey didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. It was the closest thing either of them had had to human contact in years.  
And in that moment he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill her or kiss her. He just wanted to be saved.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked it please please please give kudos and especially comment because it's what inspires me to keep writing!  
> Follow me on Tumblr: official-reylo.tumblr.com


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